Why exactly Kafkateach decided to attend a Zumba instructor training this week in Miami is not entirely clear. Perhaps those nightly 3 am breast feedings where absolutely nothing is on TV but Zumba infomercials finally brainwashed me. Or desperate for anything to write about in this blog besides VAM. Whatever the underlying cause of my desperation, the Zumba instructor training session shared many similarities to the painful professional development seminars endured by teachers nationwide and also illuminated the many fallacies behind corporate attempts to reform the teaching profession.

Like fancier teacher professional development seminars think College Boardthe Zumba instructor training took place at a swank hotel in downtown Miami.

I am ashamed to admit, after a decade of living in Miami I have never been to Bayfront Park and after my parking experience I will probably never return despite the beautiful views.

The first annoyance of the public lots is the size of the parking spaces. Then I naively went up to the parking meter and the damn machine had the nerve to ask for my license plate number as if I had the thing memorized! Luckily, being a teacher there is always a red pen somewhere on the floor of my car and I was able to write down the number and return to the meter.

Next I struggled with five attempts just to get the machine to read my debit card and spent another five minutes trying to figure out how to add 8 hours when the only option to add time was in minutes.

To all Miamians or people who might one day visit Miami, do not run across a busy Miami street for any reason! Motorists will actually speed up to run you over like a dirty dog and not look back. Luckily, my parking receipt flew all the way across the street and into the grass of Bayfront Park.

My childhood Easter egg hunting skills paid off as I quickly located the slip in the dewy grass. After the parking drama the next thing to go wrong was the registration. Not giving away too much of my identity, it is always easy to locate my last name because it starts with the last letter of the alphabet. A quick glance and I could tell my registration papers were missing. When I told the woman working the desk my last name she seemed rather clueless as to where to look for my registration even though all the papers were alphabetized.

After showing them my confirmation email I have a habit of saving all emails they let me into the carpeted room. Carpet for a dance workshop? You expect me to dance on carpet!

Like all Zumba classes worth attending, they packed us in the room like sardines. The room was filled with all ages, ethnicities and body types. I was happily not the oldest, fattest or worst dancer in the room but I was the only one not wearing some shade of fluorescent. Like leaders of teacher seminars, the Zumba instructors were part subject expert, part salesman, and part clown.

I know someone who is about as high up the Zumba dancer chain you can get. Geesh, and I thought education theory classes were bad! Zumba instructors also must make lesson plans and there was even a graphic organizer designed by Beto himself! It consisted of an empty box. Not quite sure how that is different from an empty sheet of paper. Even Zumba instructors have to do math! After about three hours of Zumba dancing, my boobs were about to burst and I raced to the restroom hoping to discretely pump some breastmilk.

Trying to do a shoulder shimmy with full jugs is excruciating! Unfortunately, the designer of the Intercontinental bathrooms took chi-chi to a whole new level. Miami hotel bathrooms pride themselves on their interior design skills. There were orchids, effervescent tiles, mahogany counters and translucent bathroom stall doors. You could actually see the silhouette of the person in the stall.

Who wants people seeing their silhouette as they take care of nature? I was hoping for some privacy while I pumped but instead everybody could see my breastpumping silhouette!

There may have been a lot more dancing at the Zumba training than a teacher worskhop, but student behaviors remained the same. The bad kids sat in the back texting and skipped out early for lunch.

I tried to leave at 4: People just want to go home. On the drive home stuck in Miami Heat game night traffic, I had time to reflect on how Zumba instructors can help dispel the many myths of the terrible teacher and the silly corporate efforts to transform the teaching profession. I confessed to having absolutely zero training before being handed the keys to a classroom. For all my griping about my Zumba instructor training, I do have to give the Zumba crew a big kudos for managing to bring the many cultures of Miami into one room for a dance jam.

Colombians, Brazilians, Argentinians, blonde soccer moms, Haitians, Dominicans, Cubans, and Phillipino nurses all boogied in the same room. There was even a Hasidic Jewish woman and a Muslim woman both wearing full garb dancing shoulder to shoulder, booty to booty.

Took classes for 10 months before getting my license, then waited another 17 months before I taught my first class. Never lost any weight in those 27 months but preping for the one class of Zumba Gold that I teach I have lost 8 lbs.

I have never worked so hard to try and look just decent. Guess I have found my inner clown and am having a wonderful time with my group. Kafka, once again, I salute you! The analogy is superb and, as always, I like how your mind works. Oh, but that I could meet you, one day, preferably over a bacon sundae! I feel as though there are so many horrible Zumba instructors is because they hand out licenses to whoever who can afford them.

There is no test to become an instructor. You just show up, pay your money, and POOF! When I first got my certificate, I was one out of maybe 5 instructors in my area. Now there are over 50… And we live in a podunk town. Literally EVERYONE is an instructor now… geez.

And most of them are AWFUL dancers and instructors! It gets people of their lazy rumps. They just get their licenses to teach and then do whatever they want and call it zumba. Usually tons of hip hop music and maybe a few actual Zumba songs.

I am so glad I am not the only person aware of the Zumba loop hole. What other profession can you attend an 8 hour seminar and then be handed a certificate to go off into the world and teach a class— regardless of your present weight, dance ability or lack there of, or rhythmicality??

And then to remain a ZIN Zumba Instructor Network member, you pay monthly dues?? I realize you get a disc for thatand hopefully every month new choreography. Fortuneatly where I go, our instructor is one of the shining stars in the zumba nation. She is the real deal and follows the standard. I was wondering could a person lose their certificate for allowing someone to show dance moves at their class. Some posts call to undefined function get_option wordpress plugin you to giggle, work from home jobs temple tx posts make you sad, this one makes me think, and that is the best reaction of all.

Like anything, the harder you work at your craft the greater your chances are at success. If you suck at salsa, go take some euro buy sell rates post office classes at a dance gym.

If you intend to teach and inspire others but need to lose 20 pounds — work hard to lose the weight to walk the walk! Even if an area is saturated with Zumba teachers, it does not mean they all are great at it. I love Zumba and continue to take regular classes from different teachers and…. I do other group classes as well like spin and bodypump and… I run when I can. So glad I read this post….

Thanks for the posts…. Wow, this lady complained about every thing possible under the sun. Parking, exercise, a stocks to buy tomorrow india floor, dancers who want to wear bright colors???? Zumba is about energy, positivity, and enjoying the moment, something you seem to be failing at. Good luck in living life. The Kafkateach blog is about ridiculing the wot best tier 6 premium money maker reform movement that is ruining the teacher profession.

This blog post, if you read the title, was primarily a vehicle to dismantle the myths about why terrible teachers exist. Currently in education, teachers are blamed for poor student test scores and tenure is blamed for keeping bad teachers in the classroom. The second point, is that even though some Zumba teachers may be masterful dancers and teachers, they cannot control the effort each student puts into the class or what they eat when they get home.

The Kafkateach blog is filled with mockery, including mocking myself. I am glad I read your reply Kafkateach, because I was in the same boat the the person above. I must admit after reading your reply and therefore getting a better understanding as to what legal transcription jobs from home uk blog is all about it encouraged me to read more of your writings.

I look forward to reading what you have to say. Might I suggest you add solutions to your pieces. Anyone can complain and find error in anything, but it is a rare few that can think, innovate, and create a solution to the problem at hand.

Everybody Dance Now: What It’s Like to Be a Zumba Instructor - AfterCollege

Think about it, food for thought. Binary auto trader review was thinking the same thing. I think that this person is just angry with the whole world, Zumba is about energy, positivity, and enjoying the moment and life in general.

When things are not going right in your life, sometimes you just need to dance it out with a smile on your face. It really is liberating, almost like therapy.

You will just make everyone miserable. Did you know you do zumba instructors make money report a Zumba Instructor?! I think the value in the instructor training is in the do zumba instructors make money where they show you the formula to adsense adsense adsense adsenseprofit.biz click earn fraud googles money the classes.

You will need to know how to dance, and you must have good people skills. The fact is, you cannot teach that how to earn money filling out surveys a seminar. They teach you how to construct the class, how to do the basic moves, and send you home stocks to buy tomorrow india materials to reinforce that, and give you an opportunity for ongoing learning, that you can take or leave.

Most people icici online trading brokerage charges tout Einstein as the real genius trading stocks using bollinger bands absolutely no understanding of his work.

I found the whole post, very negative, and bitter. As far as pay, you are working a casual job, 1 hour here and there, what do you expect?

It seem to me the only negative here is you Crystal. I found it very entertaining and very truthful. I enjoyed the essay. I could do it times wrong and maybe figure it out, but if they just gave some pointers first it would save a lot of time. For the record, I have never cried or belly ached over the Zumba system.

The point of this blog post was to show that bad teachers exist outside of the public school system so to blame poor teachers and poor student test scores on things like tenure and faulty instruction is misguided. Why else would I bother to get certified?

I just find Zumba very comical and the training was comical as well. I cannot fully agree with you on this comment Kafkateach.

I had no forex reserve of nepal comments, I only posted a suggestion. I think a lot of your writings, as I said above, hold some weight, and there is a lot to be learned from what you are sharing. I was simply hoping for some solutions to some of your pieces.

Again, anyone can complain and point out flaws but it is rare that people can find legitimate, helpful, and realistic solutions to the problems at hand. But kudos to you for being a lover of your crafts so much so that you looked into teaching them yourself. How to earn cash by recycling comment was not negative and you make some valid points.

Here is at least one post that is entirely positive https: It was started to deal with the absurdist nature of teaching in Florida under education reform.

Blackberry bold call log settings most of my posts are going i lost money binary options be dealing with the absurd and I am most motivated to write when something makes me angry or seems totally irrational.

I am happy to provide that service. But you are write that we should also focus on providing solutions. The only problem is that nobody listens to teachers and we are entirely removed from the decision making process when it comes to education policy in this country.

But thanks for your input and fair criticism. My brother recommended I may like this website. He used to be totally right. This submit truly made my day. You can not consider simply how so much time I had spent for this information!

I also recently became group ex certified with AFAA. I also have and A. RN nursing degree…and I am a self taught dancer and create my own choreography. I have no formal dance training, yet repeatedly I am asked if I am a Pro Dancer even asked by a club member who IS a pro dancer she saw me practicing. They hand out a license and then it is up to you, the instructor. What chaps my hide is that most of the chain gyms and fitness instructors hire their friends or just …anybody.

I may sound of sour grapes…but here is the deal…I attended a few of the Zumba classes at my club. One time the instructor was 15 minutes late…. Most of us were ready to leave. Another time, an afternoon class, a message was posted on the door that the instructor would be very late. Zumba instructors, you may have day jobs which many do but if you are always late…give it up to someone who can be there on time!!!!

They now have Step Zumba not cert required!!! Because Beto and his two wealthy lawyers know that their clock is ticking. They have had a formula forever, and it has been a decent formula, but peeps get bored eventually of THAT formula. They even went after a very popular group of dancers who were using Latin music and not the Zumba ZIN music, eitherjust because they were Latin songs!!!

No problem for these talented ladies…they now post non-Latin music and choreo and they are even MORE successful. I will attempt to strike out on my own with a song list of NON Latin songs and safe and fun choreo. I take being on time, being friendly, being professional, making sure everyone is welcome AND presenting new, easy, and creative choreography very seriously. Zumba will always be with us…but I do see it diminishing soon in the gyms and clubs….

Thanks for letting me vent…oh one of my Zumba friends has taken SIX workshops…all of them!!!! She does have an AFAA cert which is very good. She is now teaching at a Senior center, but does not know her choreo…uses notes…. She was always late and I never came close to breaking a sweat in her class.

Zumba Instructor Salary

But for people looking for a good workout, it was a waste of time. I completely agree with you. The hardships of getting on at local gums once certified is unbelievable. Last year I got certified in Zumba Toning and have found out recently that they are no longer issuing choreography for it. My other complaint is that they recycle the same songs. Sure I can do better. But having to pay fees to keep my license?

Zumba: Loud & Proud | Company of the Year | pezewehemave.web.fc2.com

Sighhhhhhh I now find my self reconcidering……………………. I plan on taking the Zumba Jumpstart Gold instructor course in April. Your article was helpful. It So well describes as to the fake nail injuries in a packed class. I also have plenty of music accessible to me as all instructors of Zumba can do…all via You Tube. I hate knowing the only person getting rich for holding me to that monthly licensing fee is Beto…. Staying current in that is expensive enough needing 15 CEC;s every 2 years with yearly CPR.

But I justify it as keeping me credible. Not sure what to do but to quit the Zumba title and rename it as I can sell and prove with my style, expertise and abilities a class that people will return to. I have been teaching for years and have decided to stop paying! I use nothing I get from ZIN.

My class wants a better variety so my gym is willing to change the name of my class so I will continue. I will say at first I loved the idea now I think its a complete joke.

This is one of the only blogs I have found that is a little negative of Zumba. I also found there are no up to date stuff on Zumba. Thanks you for writing this! I had a hard time reading this because it was more about your own failings than actually getting certified to teach Zumba at LA Fitness.

The opposite is true too. They always want everything to be instant and to not have to do the work.

We have a 5 star ranking system at our school and a single 4 can be harmful to your reputation within the institute and can impede your upper mobility and derail any raises. You are commenting using your WordPress. You are commenting using your Twitter account. You are commenting using your Facebook account. Notify me of new comments via email.

Notify me of new posts via email. Kafkateach has been teaching high school World History for 9 years. Recent tumults in the teaching profession and public education have caused her to enter the blogosphere.

Summer Time and the Living is…. The fact that you actually need to get certified to become a Zumba instructor at your local LA Fitness should make people pause before they question the value of decent teacher training programs. We demand that our local Latin aerobics instructors be properly trained in booty gyrations yes, half of the day was spent in hip thrusting theory classes but corporate reformers poo-poo the need for professional preparation for the people entrusted with teaching our five year olds how to read.

The fact is that I received more training to be a Zumba fitness instructor than a high school English teacher. One of the reasons I felt compelled to become certified to teach Zumba classes is because of some of the horrible Zumba classes I have attended at my local gym.

It seems to me, that in the same way a math teacher should be able to do math, a Zumba instructor should be able to dance and keep a beat. People like Michelle Rhee frequently blame tenure and LIFO policies for crappy teachers.

Well then what explains the abundance of bad Zumba instructors plaguing gyms across the country? As far as I am aware they are not unionized and there is no such thing as Zumba teacher tenure. Perhaps the reason that bad public school teachers remain in the classroom is the same reason that bad Zumba fitness instructors remain in the gym-poor management. A good Principal, like a good gym manager, would frequently drop into classes and be aware of which instructors were performing poorly.

In Zumba classes a quick glance would do. Some Zumba instructors pack people in like sardines while other Zumba instructors are lucky to get a steady class of ten. Maybe gym managers, like many Principals, are simply too overwhelmed with other job priorities to properly administer what goes on in their classrooms.

Whatever the case, tenure, unions, and last in first out policies cannot be blamed for the existence of terrible Zumba instructors.

Some people have lost weight and others are just as fat as the first day they stepped into the studio. Instead of a value added formula, maybe they should rate Zumba instructors with a pounds subtracted formula? Some people put percent into their Zumba moves while others walk through them like tree sloths.

Some people eagerly attempt to master every move while others are texting or giggling with their girlfriends in the back of the room. Some people go home and drink kale smoothies while other people head straight to Burger King for a whopper topped off with a bacon sundae.

And dare I say that some people are just genetically predisposed to be chunky. Give me the best math teacher on the planet and my math SAT scores would still suck. In high school it never occurred to me to blame my math teachers for an SAT score that barely broke Trackback URL Anne Bay says: June 2, at June 2, at 1: June 9, at 9: June 13, at August 4, at 6: September 26, at 2: October 30, at December 27, at 4: December 30, at February 17, at 5: February 17, at February 21, at 6: May 22, at 5: August 11, at February 27, at 9: March 4, at October 13, at June 13, at 2: March 4, at 2: March 4, at 3: March 14, at 4: March 22, at 7: March 23, at January 14, at 1: May 22, at February 16, at March 19, at 4: March 19, at June 24, at 8: September 14, at 8: April 21, at 6: May 26, at 8: Leave a Reply Cancel reply Enter your comment here Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Email Address never made public.